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Wednesday, May 24

Paradigm Shift

This space has been quiet since the winter solstice. There are reasons and I'd like to share them with my readers.

Mama Stacey experienced an awakening at the end of 2016.  I had a psychological break-through in the arena of surfacing memories and life-altering realizations.  I began therapy and joined a support group.  I also joined a 12-step program to change my coping strategies.*

As I have been working my 'program' and more has been coming forth through therapy, I am understanding what it is to lie to one's self, to compromise one's self, to be an enabler, to internalize blame/guilt/shame, to excuse away abuse, etc.  My users and abusers are no longer invisible to me.  My negative coping and comfort strategies are no longer normalized. 

My feet have shifted on this Earth. 

Today, I am making healthier choices and healing a little at a time. This involves a lot of focus and a lot of change.  I have made confessions.  I have ended friendships.  I have strengthened others.  I have set boundaries. 

One of the boundaries I have set, one of the changes I have made, involves my spirituality.  Not all of you will like this.  Some of you may identify with it.  Some of you haven't read this far, haha. 

When I was no longer willing to lie to myself, I was left with no choice but to reject a mass portion of Paganism.  I refer to it as "woo".  Woo is anything that is a self-soothing lie, a disinclination to admit mental illness, a bastardization of science, wishful thinking, disguised desperation, a gimmick. 

I no longer buy into: astral travel, energy work, magnetic bracelets, lighting candles to send energy, essential oil therapy, sound therapy, familiars, auras, psychics, tarot card reading, dragons, cleansings, past life regressions, crystals, ghosts, spells, curses, "guides" or otherworldly voices, etc.

You may decide to believe in these things.  That is your choice and your path. 

There are things within the Pagan community which still delight me.  I adore the tolerance, the fun holidays, the music, the myths, and the environmentalism.  I love drum circles, camping, Solstice cookies, herb gathering, and my little boy dancing around in faerie wings.  For those reasons, for now, I will continue to raise my children within the Pagan world.  However, when they ask me why the man talking to himself is telling everyone that he has an invisible dragon on his shoulder...  we will discuss loneliness, mental illness, and negative coping skills. 

If you're looking for a label, I suppose you'd call me an atheist.  Maybe a Pagan Atheist.  I'm still on my journey. 

What this means for the ITHOMS blog is that many older posts have been deleted.  I will no longer offer "woo", but will continue to offer crafts, reviews, toy and book lists, sabbat recipes, secular homeschooling, and earth-centric child rearing posts. 

I pledge to be honest with you and I hope you'll can be honest with me. 

Thank you for listening,
Mama Stacey

* As this is a family blog, I wanted my readers to note that my 12-step program is NOT for drug or alcohol abuse.  While I firmly believe that NA and AA members who are in active recovery are zero danger to children, I understand that there is a negative association between certain addicts and children.  I want to assure everyone that our children have never been in any danger.  There is an absurd number of harmful ways to 'soothe' oneself and Mama Stacey chose avenues other than alcohol or drugs. 

Wednesday, December 21

Sun Birthing Crown

Today, I have a super-quick Sun Birthing Crown for you to make with your little ones on Solstice or Yule morning.   This hat mimics the idea of a the infant sun unfurling those first few rays of light like a newborn baby's first stretch, while the rest of Him is still tightly curled up. 

My children and I had been reading about Solstice and talking about how the Sun is born this day.  We talked about how the sun will still be young and will stretch open, like a blossoming flower opening for the first time. As we cut out our handprints and layer them on this crown, my children's fingers indeed looked like closed flower petals.  The two hands on the front of the crown mimic a sundisk and symbolize the first rays of light from the newborn sun.

This project uses scissors and a stapler so stick close to your toddler.  I allowed Adventure Girl, who is 3 1/2 years old currently, to cut her handprints out, but I cut the plate and used the stapler.  Also, we attached a lot of 'fun bits' (sequins, puffy stickers, pompoms, etc.) to our crown, but these can easily become choking hazards to younger siblings.  Keep your eyes peeled!

This project was full of delightful symbolism for the Solstice, but was also fun practice for cutting along curvy lines and for fine motor skills when it came to picking up the small sequins that we attached to the crown.

Tips & Tricks

  • Young scissor users will probably have a few paper-hand casualties along the way.  Plan ahead by tracing a few extra. 
  • Reduce tracing and cutting time by tracing a few hands onto a single sheet and then stack your construction paper before cutting them out.
  • If your sequins and other 'fun bits' have a lot of ridges, you may find some white school glue works better to attach them than our glue stick did. 
  • Pinching and turning and stapling can be hard for some children (or adults) with fine motor issues or arthritis.  While this project is meant to help build those skills, it could easily overwhelm someone who struggles with them.  See the Alternatives section at the bottom of this post for help.

Creating Sun Birthing Crowns

Yellow Construction Paper
Orange Construction Paper
White or Silver Construction Paper
Paper Plate
Sequins, Pompoms, Stickers
Glue Stick

I chose to add white/silver to the colors of our Sun to reflect youth. If I was making a crown at the Summer Solstice, when the Sun is at his height of strength, I would replace these with vibrant reds and golds.

  1. To begin, trace 9-12 hand prints onto various colors of construction paper.  The number needed depends upon the size of your child's hand and the diameter of your paper plate.  Right, Left.  It doesn't matter and allowing them to do both builds skills, so have at.  
  2. Prepare your paper plate by cutting the center circle out and discard it. Cut through the paper ring to open it.  You will now angle the two cut sections upward so the that they overlap and come to a point as shown in the images below.  Staple on either side of the peak. 

  1. Pick two yellow hands and glue them to the front peak with the heels overlaping so that they mimic a sundisk.  
  2. Glue the remaining hands in a cascade (slightly overlapping in the same direction the entire way around -similar to the way dominos would fall) around the rim of the crown.  Allow the fingers to lean and close in on the opening to mimic a closed flower bud.  
  3. Decorate with 'fun bits' to your heart's content.

My daughter was very taken with the overlapping hands on her head.  She's young, so I'm not sure the entire message has sunken in, but her curiosity was peaked and the doors for learning were open.

We followed up this project with a reading from Ellen Jackson's "The Winter Solstice" and ate some of our Yule cookies. The illustrations are exciting and kept our conversation going for longer than usual.


Instead of discarding the inside circle of the plate and having to twist and staple the ring, reduce that stress by instead cutting a 'C' shape in the center of the plate and folding the center up to create the front of the crown.  Glue your two yellow handprints to this to create the sundisk.

Also, if your child has limitations that make tracing his or hands difficult, try this FREE hand template, instead.

If you create your own Sun Birthing Crown, I'd love to see it!  Share it with me on Facebook or Instagram with #ITHOMS or post it in the comments section below.

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Thursday, November 3

A Month of Gratitude

Moving into an actual house (A New Year) has granted my inner Martha Stewart full license to tackle my Pinterest wishlist, one project at a time.  There is so much to do... and I'm starting with trendy Thanksgiving stuff. 

Something I've wanted forever is a decent dining room to put a huge wooden table in and have sit-down dinners with my family.  This goal has been enthusiastically accomplished. My children took to tablecloths and prayer rather quickly.  They remind me when I forget and have even asked to eat at the table on lazy weekends.  They are just as thrilled with our new home as Papa J and I are.

If you are curious about our mealtime prayer, check out this old blog post on a prayer entitled "Peaceful".

Another great aspect of our new dining room is having blank wall space. I purposely left one wall furniture-free so that we can do holiday art projects on it. I decided to start with a Thankfulness Tree to correspond with Thanksgiving and the general vibe of "we are waaaay too happy" that's in the air around here.

Now, some people are brave enough to paint stuff right on the wall. I am the nittiest nit-pick that ever lived.  I can't commit. And I want that space for other projects, like a Winter Solstice advent project in December.  So, I taped together three sections of my daughter's easel paper. This gave me roughly a 40" x 50" canvas.

Adventure Girl helping out.

I knew I was going to have to get artistic, but I was feeling it, so I searched Pinterest for some ideas on how others had drawn their trees.  I pulled this one up on my phone, from The Mama Birds blog, and started to sketch with a pencil. I wanted a more tree-like look, so I began to add detail and extra twigs and rough out the ends. It took an entire nap of Baby O's to get it sketched, so about an hour.  Naps are legit currency In the House of Mama Stacey.

I upped the contrast.  These are my branches and twigs.

Baby O has a cold right now, his first ever, so he's napping more often.  He worked three in yesterday, and that worked very well for my three-step project.  Haha!  During his midday nap, Adventure Girl and I took up our brushes and painted our tree.  The watercolor look was accomplished by adding a little water to the brown tempera paint so that it was thinner and thicker in some areas.  It gave the tree that varied bark look.

Mama Stacey painting in her p.j.s.

This dried very quickly, but the final step had to wait until after dinner and bathtime.  While Baby O was snoozing again and Adventure Girl was engrossed in My Little Pony, I outlined the tree in black tempera paint (I did not water this down). 

Top: Halfway...
Bottom: All done!

I think it turned out well.  I'm not sure if I can get something this large laminated, but it would save me some time next year if I can.  I still haven't decided if I'd like to add some words at the bottom.  I've even thought of Pagan-ing this project up by painting little Greenman faces on the knots of the tree or adding little symbols among the branches.  We'll see. 

I'm thankful that I can do these projects with my kids.

For the leaves, I found this handy template on the Corwin House blog.  I printed it straight onto construction paper.  I did have to use my handy-dandy rotary paper trimmer to reduce the paper width  from 9" to 8.5", but otherwise my Tru-Ray paper went right through the printer.

You might be able to fit more on each page.

I pre-cut the leaves out and keep them in a small bowl on the dining room table.  So far, everyone writes down something they are thankful for on a leaf before eating.  I am attaching with small bits of rolled masking tape, but if I can get the tree laminated, I imagine sticky tac would rock. 

If you decide to try out a project like this, let me know in the comments section below!

Tuesday, November 1

A New Year

Good Morning!  October was a maddening swirl for the Mama Stacey Clan.  It began with a guest speaking gig at Pittsburgh Pagan Pride Day and ended with Samhain.  In between, the baby got SEVEN teeth, we adopted a dog, Doodle Bug started a new special needs program, and.... we got a house!

We have always made due with teeny-tiny apartments, but with a family of five + regular visitors + a big dog + a zillion hobbies, we were bursting at the seams.  We had been chasing our dream home all summer and it ended in tears as acquaintances of ours butted heads with the owners and they unceremoniously dropped us from the running.  I was bumming pretty hardcore.  I grew angry with the goddess Hestia as we'd been praying to her for months and I had put my faith in her.  Little did I know, She had not betrayed me.  She had taken my wish list and found us an even better home. 

Our jaws dropped when we walked in.  The kids immediately began playing in the yard.  We were the first and only ones to look at it.  It was ours.

We began the process of moving on October 4th.  This involved the usual emptying of our old home, but after years of living in too small of a space, we had additional belongings scattered in storage units, family homes, and garages over three counties.  It took a lot of muscles, sprained everything, days off of work, and everything in our bank account to get all the scraps of our life to their final destination. 

We gained 700 sqft.  This translates into a 'classroom', larger bedrooms for all, a doubled living room, and a kitchen with cabinets and counters for miles.  We are in love with our new home.

Top:  Our porch decorated for Halloween & Samhain.
Middle:  Our new kitchen complete with lots of cabinets and a dishwasher.
Bottom:  Half of our homeschooling classroom.

A new address gave us the opportunity to transfer Bug into a much better school.  His needs are being met much more often and they are teaching him skills for independent living, which at age 14 should have been a major focus in his schooling (I am trying my best to forgive the old school)

We got a phone call about six weeks ago.  It was a friend who had just adopted a second dog.  We had admired this pup from the get go.  He was all black and soft as can be.  He was half Siberian Husky and half Black Labrador.  Her older dog was much too big and had recently injured the pup while playing.  She feared for his safety and immediately thought of us.  We rushed right over and adopted him.  His name is Roland (Papa J named him after a character in Stephen King's 'The Dark Tower' book series) and he is exactly what this family was looking for. 

Roland at 4 months.  He is MUCH larger, now. 
 This month also granted me the opportunity to share a stage with some Pagan heavy-weights.  Selena Fox and Byron Ballard presented at the Pittsburgh Pagan Pride with me trying my best beside them.  I felt like a giant!  I never realize how tall I am until I get around a crowd.  Haha! 

I was invited to speak about the Future of Paganism.  My talk was about our need to include children and provide families with opportunity.  It was a talk about how they should not be forgotten... and well - I was forgotten.  Not a single person showed up for the talk that I had painstakingly crafted for months.  I was not given a table to sell wares or promote myself like the other presenters.  I was escorted to the daycare room and wished the best of luck.  When the first parent dropped off their toddler I realized that I was not a presenter.  I had been turned into a glorified babysitter. 

I appreciated getting to be there, but the event was nothing that I thought it was going to be.  I have yet to address the PPD committee as I am not sure if I can keep my cool just yet.  I was appreciative of the opportunity and would be thrilled to host again next year, provided some changes are made....

Any disappointment aside, preparing for this event made me realize just how passionate I truly am about children and Pagan faith.  It was a nice reminder.  

Mama Stacey, Selena Fox, Byron Ballard, and Pittsburgh's PPD Coordinator.

 Baby O got seven teeth in one go, this past month.  THAT was fun.  He couldn't help but bite while nursing and made both of us miserable.  Things are better now that they are all out, but that was rough stuff while trying to handle all the other changes and mental/physical stresses that our home underwent in October.

We ended the month with a traditional night of Trick or Treat and honoring our ancestors.  Adventure Girl chose to be a doctor (go her!).  Baby O was supposed to be a business man, but ended up looking like a cute little hobo.  Doodle Bug is in those teetering final years of engaging in Trick or Treat, so he committed only to a mask which he removed the moment another teen boy poked fun at it.  Oh, well.

Transformation has come upon our home.  It has changed us for the better.  I pray for a winter that allows us to iron out the wrinkles and relax in our new environment. 

How has your October been?

Saturday, July 23

8 Lammas Activities for Infants & Toddlers

Lammas is a great sabbat. Traditionally, we honor the first harvest and often the Celtic God, Lugh.   Mama Stacey likes to honor the sun, the garden, and the sea.  Corn, grains, berries, honey, herbs, and anything overflowing in the garden (like tomato and zucchini) are traditional for this holiday.

One can know all of that and still have no idea how to honor the holiday with young ones.  My advice for parents of Pagan toddlers is that babies need to experience a holiday, not hear about it.  You can try and teach the names of gods and the magickal properties of wheat and basil, but there is very little chance that it will stick.  Knowledge like that takes time, exposure, and repetition.  What toddlers need is music, food, and to work with their hands.

Here are 8 suggestions for celebrating Lammas with infants and toddlers.

1.  CORN SHAKERS - These honor the corn aspect and make a pretty cool noisemaker.  These can be used in a family ritual to raise energy, around the drum circle to add some zest to the rhythm, or shaken to cheer on your team at the Tailteann Games.   You will need 6oz water bottles, harvest colored ribbon, and popcorn kernals.  For full instructions and other needed materials, visit Pre-K Pages.

2.  MAKING CLAY SUN DISKS - The golden rays of the sun are bringing the harvest to fruition.  It is because of this yellowing of fields and the heat of August that we honor the Sun.  Use the salt dough recipe found on Twig and Toadstool, or use your favorite bake-able dough.  You will need salt, flour, acrylic paints, and a coat of varnish.

3.  YARN-WRAPPED HONEY BEES - These honor the labor of the honey bee.  Honey's golden color makes it the perfect sweetener for Lammas.  It also blends wonderfully with berries and bread, two traditional Lammas foods.  Talk to your children about the importance of bees and leave out some honey on your altar to acknowledge their sacrifice.  To make these, gather up yellow and black yarn, cardboard, and googly-eyes.  The tutorial at Housing a Forest uses old book pages for wings, but I'd personally use parchment or wax paper.  

4.  CORN STALK FOOTPRINTS - These are cute and seasonal.  This flexible craft is easy to do with newborns on up through adults.  You could even make a cute "family stalk" starting with parents on the bottom and children on up to the top.  You will need yellow art paint, construction paper, and a little patience to get this one done.  Check out the tutorial at House of Baby Piranha for full instructions.

5.  SUMMER FLOWER PRINTING - Wild flowers are all in season at Lammas time.  Take a walk, pick some late summer blooms, and sit down to create some sacred art.  You will need some art paint, white paper, and lots of space to get messy.  An art smock wouldn't hurt.  Find out all about this project from Learning 4 Kids.

6.  BERRY PICKING - Blueberries, raspberries, blackberries... there's probably a pick-your-own farm near you.  Give your toddler a basket and let them go nuts.  This is a great exercise in learning where our food comes from, but also one in farm etiquette.  Help your child stick to the rows, pick only what's ripe, and know beforehand that they WILL get dirty and sticky.   Check Me Plus 3 Today's tips for going berry picking with toddlers before you head out.

7.  LAMMAS SENSORY BIN - This is easily my children's favorite.  They will play in it all day long.  To steer this away from Halloween and make it more Lammas-y, try exchanging the fall leaves for star-shaped pasta (for the sun god), shell-shaped pasta (for the sea goddess), and perhaps throw in some green lentils for color.  When you purchase the corn for this, DO NOT use feed corn as it is not intended for human consumption and if I know anything about babies... they WILL put this in their mouth.  The pictured bin comes to you from CBC Radio Canada.

8.  BAKING BREAD WITH KIDS - This is a timeless Lammas tradition.  While I promise that your kitchen will have seen better days, nothing beats the pride a child feels after "helping".  Even 2 year olds can enjoy pouring, stirring, and kneading.  If you want to save yourself a little hassle, use frozen dough from the store.  Get a little encouragement from Kids Activities Blog.


Bonus:  PRETEND BERRY PICKING - If you can't find a berry patch, or don't revel in the the idea of dirty, sticky children, try this clever little backyard activity.  It reminds me of egg hunts, and we know children love those!  You will need ball-pit balls, child-sized baskets, and lots of ingenious hiding places.  Get the low down from Play Learn Everyday

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Sunday, July 17

Two Proud Mothers (or Eavesdropping on a Christian & a Pagan)

We play Pokemon Go.  It's bad.  But so does Table for Eight, so it's made for some fun evenings.  This past weekend, we were smartphone zombies, wandering the streets of their neighborhood at 9 o'clock at night, catching Ghastlies and Weedles and spinning Pokestops.  It was an evening of pure guilty pleasure and giddiness as we traded out our usual drinks and games for Pokemon hunting.

When our collective batteries died, we retreated to the back yard for marshmallows and phone cords.  Doodle Bug and Child #3 were playing in the lawn and I was keeping an ear on their conversation.  Table for Eight's children had just finished their Vacation Bible School for the summer and were full of Jesus love.  Kudos to them for raising their children in their desired faith, however Doodle Bug has had previous encounters with preaching children and gotten very confused.  So, I was admittedly eavesdropping on tweens.

#3 was telling my son about Heaven and Hell.  She was insistent that he was going to Hell.  Doodle Bug simply shrugged and told her "That's not a real place."

POW!  Score one, for my boy.

#3 refuted this and asked him about Heaven.  "It's imaginary," was his reply.  #3 was frustrated by this and I could see her considering that perhaps her special friend didn't understand her words.  She asked if he'd ever known someone who died.  He assured her that his kitty had died last year.  She told him that didn't count because, animals don't get to go to heaven.

"Why not?  That's dumb.  My kitty will be waiting for me."  Doodle Bug loves his pets.

BAM!  Score two.

#3 did not have a response for him, so they moved on.  Doodle Bug offered up that his father (biological) had died 3 years ago and his great-grandmother had died 2 years ago. That was an acceptable answer for #3, who replied, "Okay.  They're in Heaven, then."

"Nope. My Dad is in a star.  He's with our God.  And guess what?  It's a girl."

BOOM!  Score three.

#3 couldn't comprehend that.  She boasted about her family members in Heaven with "the real God.".  She described how happy her whole family will be one day when they are all together again.  And I have to say, good for her.  She truly believes in this and it brings her peace.  Children should have that.

So, I wandered closer to the adults and mentioned to my best friend that she should come hear what our children were talking about.  I described their conversation and she said that she was so proud to hear her child preaching.  I told her that I was blown away by my son's answers as I am never quite sure what sticks and what doesn't.  We walked back, two proud mothers, happy in our ability to raise aware children and still get along.

Did I mention that Table for Eight had recently switched churches?  They changed to one within walking distance.  They hadn't been there for a service yet, but had been asked by a neighbor if their children would like to attend the free bible study that week.  Driven crazy by the sheer number of children at her home in the summer, my friend had readily agreed to let someone take them to church for 3 hours a day.  After all, it was a church.  What could go wrong?

Well, as we approached, #3 was talking about the Rapture. 

"One day, the world is going to end.
There will be no more nighttime and
no more black people and
 the world will be perfect."

Both of our jaws dropped.

My friend rushed to lecture her child, "Black people get to go to heaven, too!"  Meanwhile, I asked Table for Eight's patriarch if they knew exactly what their children had been learning at this new church all week.

Pro tip: don't let someone else head up your child's religious education.

Thursday, July 14

Our Broken Summer

On July 1st, a trampoline accident led to a broken tibia and a severely sprained ankle for our little Adventure Girl.  


It was 11:20 am and to begin, I'm glad that we were there when it happened.  We were visiting friends who are big on "walk it off" mentality.  They don't "coddle" their children.  Mama Stacey is a huge coddler.  Their 3yo injured her elbow on the same trampoline and not only did they deny her rest/hugs/ice-pack... they did not take her to the doctor because they were certain she was faking it (although, between you and me, she had classic symptoms of a dislocated elbow).   We love our friends, but we have some serious differences in parenting styles.  

When Adventure Girl had her accident, she cried out and I immediately knew something was wrong.  As a parent, you can decode seemingly random screams based on pitch, intensity, etc.  I wasn't sure of my skills until that moment.  I now get a hint of what it must be like to speak the subtle languages of dolphins or grizzly bears.  Her cry, in that moment, was different from anything I have ever heard her make before. 

When I got to her, she could not put weight on her leg and the first thing she said was, "I go to doctor."  I lifted her and she began to weep.  As I carried her, she was passing out from the shock.  This is when our friend reassured me that my baby girl was "probably just tired" and "needed a nap".  My instincts were very different.  Papa J rushed her to the nearest emergency room (you should have seen his frantic parking job!).  Within 40 minutes they confirmed the break.  


It was heartbreaking to not only hear how severe the damage was, but to also find that she would need a full-leg cast for 8 or more weeks.  When the doctors left the room, we tried to cheer up our toddler by googling cool crutches and scooters, fancy swim covers, and talked about getting to pick out a cast color.  When they returned to put it in a splint, the other shoe dropped.  Her break was on the growth plate.  Adventure Girl was forbidden any weight bearing, scooting, sliding, or even dangling. No crutches.  No scooter.  No swim cover.  Only sitting or lying with her leg elevated.

We were told to immobilize our 3 year old daughter for the rest of the summer.

Now, you may be thinking to yourself, "Awe man, that sucks."  Or, "Wow, that sounds difficult."  

The truth is, you have no bloody idea.  Unless you've had this same misfortune, you can't appreciate how soul-crushing it is to tell your vibrant child that she cannot play in her sandbox.  She cannot swim on a 101* day.  She cannot swing or slide or seesaw.  She cannot ride her new bike.  She cannot ride the carousel at the fair.  She cannot come with for raspberry picking.  Even if her beautiful blue eyes beg you for all they're worth, you must break her heart to save her leg.


Just the day before, Adventure Girl had inquired about trying out a climbing wall and had been wowed by seeing some people kayaking down the gorgeous river we live near (because, as her title would suggest, she is always up for a new adventure).  We had planned to do both in the coming weeks. Instead, we pass the days reading, coloring, and watching Netflix. 

We try to fight off boredom with long stroller rides, but still the 'recuperation blues' have taken hold.  She refuses food, or pretends to eat it for my sake, hiding it underneath her booster seat.  She cries a lot and takes turns being mad at Papa J and I, who must disappoint her daily.  She complains of being tired. She picks at her cast.


We hold her often, singing to her and trying to comforting her.  It is a difficult time, but I try to see the silver lining.  As the doctor in the emergency room pointed out, he'd rather see her have a broken leg than a broken spine or neck.  Worst-case scenario, over 4,000 children have suffered hospitals stays, paralysis, and even death since 1990. By the Goddess' grace, Adventure Girl is not one of those children.

As my thoughts turn to Lammas and our traditional Tailteann games, I am struggling to find ways to include our girl.  My thought process then leads me to one of the very first posts on this blog.  In it, I promised to provide crafts and activities for children with restrictions and special needs.  I have done a poor job of doing so.  

I look to the Lord and Lady to help our baby girl find her joy and rekindle her spirit as summer continues on.  They have already used this minor tragedy to help me better my parenting skills and amp up my blogging game.   

Faith, my friends.  Faith.