Sunday, December 14

Two Years After Sandy Hook

Two years ago today, around 9:35 in the morning, a tragedy like we've never seen before struck an elementary school in Newtown, CT.  Twenty-six inspiring and beautiful people were taken from this world.

I had a hard time taking Doodle Bug to school that Monday.  He struggled with what a tragedy like this meant.  The shock was enough to make him question the very existence of the Goddess.  It's been two years and he still asks me sometimes if Miss J (his special education teacher) knows what to do if "a man with a gun" comes into their school.  

Personally, I still cry when I think about it.  So, I won't be typing much today, but I encourage you to visit the legacy website that the town put together:  My Sandy Hook Family

On our ITHOMS Facebook page, today, you will find links to the various foundations and non-profits which were founded in the names of the victims.  Always verify the legitimacy of a charity before you donate funds.  

The Jesse Lewis Choose Love Foundation
"We are currently developing a compassion- and wisdom-based curriculum to introduce into our schools and communities – inspirational and educational programs that will incorporate this empowering message and also highlight unforgettable stories of young people (including genocide survivors) who have overcome extreme hardship through choosing love over anger."

"As Emilie’s parents, we are striving to honor our daughter by continuing to support the things that she loved. Emilie was an exceptional artist, and we enjoyed watching her as she expressed her creativity, love, excitement and her true self through art. We want to celebrate Emilie’s passion by supporting the arts with funding for programs in the community and schools."

"We want to express our deepest thanks to everyone who donated money to the funds created in Allison's honor. All money that is donated to the Allison Wyatt Memorial Fund must be distributed to licensed charitable organizations, and to date with your help we have made significant donations to the following organizations:  St. Jude Children's Research Hospital, Ronald McDonald House Charities, International Child Art Foundation.  Thank you all very much."

"The Kowalski family wanted to capture Chase’s competitive spirit and vitality in creating a charity in his honor with a focus on health and wellness for children and their families. CMAK (Chase Michael Anthony Kowalski) Sandy Hook Memorial Foundation has pursued programs and initiatives that encourage personal improvement, healthy lifestyles and strong family and communities."

Sandy Hook Promise
"Protect children from gun violence so no other parent experiences the loss of their child by engaging and empowering parents and communities with targeted prevention programs in the areas of in the areas of mental wellness early-identification & intervention, social & emotional development and firearm safety & security." 

"Dylan was a beautiful 6-year-old boy.  He had an infectious laugh and was passionate about the moon, garlic bread, the color purple and computer games. Dylan also had autism.  After we lost our beautiful son so tragically, we established Dylan’s Wings of Change, a foundation dedicated to the memory of Dylan that is committed to helping children with autism and other related conditions achieve their full potential."

"Our mission is to inspire and empower every person to act with kindness in order to make a positive cultural change. Our goal is to help individuals build a sense of community and reduce social isolation. We believe by bringing awareness to these issues and providing opportunities for interaction and acceptance, cultural change will occur."

"Ben’s Lighthouse fosters all children’s potential to build a more compassionate and connected world. Children become architects of a changed society by practicing empathy, self awareness and volunteerism. Each child’s contribution, small or large, is a benefit to self and society. #HelpingIsHealing "

"In partnership with Klingberg Family Centers we have established the Center for Community and Connection as the first initiative of the Ana Grace Project. Klingberg Family Centers’ extensive experience serving children traumatized by abuse allows us to build on a strong foundation. I am deeply grateful for their incredible support and expertise. I hope you will join us as we move forward with this important project.”

"The mission of The Avielle Foundation is to prevent violence by fostering brain health research, education, and policy; and community development, engagement, and responsibility. The foundation... direct(s) resources to support breakthrough research in brain health, bridging behavioral and biochemical sciences."

"Our mission is to promote kindness as a guiding principle of humanity. Newtown Kindness is committed to fostering compassion in children and inspiring life-long contributors to society. The organization aims to facilitate acts of kindness within communities as well as raise awareness of kindness through education, sharing and recognition."

"Grace was an artist.  She saw beauty in everything and was fortunate to have found her passion  early in life.  She (had taken) art classes since the age of nine and was truly gifted.  We hope to honor her life and dreams by supporting young artists and youth art programs through scholarships and grants."

"The Lauren Rousseau Elementary Education Memorial Scholarship was established to honor the memory of Lauren Gabrielle Rousseau, a 30 year old teacher, who was one of the 26 individuals who lost their lives in the tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14, 2012."

"Dawn Lafferty Hochsprung was the principal who died while trying to protect her Sandy Hook Elementary School Family. As a lifelong student, Dawn strove for excellence and encouraged those around her to do the same. Dawn devoted her life to education, instilling a love of learning in all who knew her. Dawn's family has established a scholarship fund in her honor. The scholarship will benefit students of her hometown high school who are planning to pursue a career in education."

"We are the parents of the children who survived. We are the classmates, friends, and the little league coaches. Sandy Hook is where we live -- it is our proud community. We ask the world to join us not only in our grief but also in our burning need to take some of the burdens off these families in their time of incredible pain. To bear their cross in some small way. We intend to give 100% of the donations collected to the 26 families in equal shares for their continued support. Please help us help our own neighbors beyond sharing their tears. All funds received will go directly to the families who lost children and immediate family members."

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Also, conspiracy theories are fun, but I do not accept that anything was staged that terrible day.  You can look at the available facts from any event and theorize an alternate story, but real life is NOT a giant game of Malarky.  Please don't be disrespectful. 

Thursday, December 4

Santa Claus and the Return of the Sun

This is a guest post by Pagan author Arie Farnam.  Enjoy!

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I don't remember a time when I actually believed in Santa Claus. But I do remember how much I appreciated him as a child.

I grew up in a family that quietly practiced an earth-based spirituality in a remote corner of Eastern Oregon. Everyone and everything around us was heavily Christian. I often felt isolated and confused about religious and cultural differences. It didn't help that my family didn't talk very openly about our spirituality. Most of our celebrations were muted and not shared with anyone. We would pay lip service to celebrating "Christmas," even though we didn't really. 

Sure, even at home we called it "Christmas" but we had no connection to the story about Baby Jesus in a manger. When I first went to school, I felt a bit dishonest, like our version was a fraud. But a few years later, I realized that Christmas trees and Santa Claus had nothing to do with the story of Baby Jesus. And yet, my Christian classmates shared them with me. It was hugely comforting to have something I could share with others and still feel was also authentic to my family and culture.

Some things have changed since I was a child. I went to college and learned that people who believe what my family does are called Pagans. I learned other words for things that had always been silent in our family - "Yule" and "Solstice," for instance. Having names for things helped me to develop a stronger identity and to integrate spirituality into my everyday life, bringing it back from the ghetto of secret rituals to which my spirit had been banished.

Today, I am slowly teaching my mother to say "Solstice" instead of "Christmas." She wants to but the words of mainstream culture are deeply ingrained in her and the years of secrecy and fear are hard to overcome. It is not that openly admitting to being Pagan is without risk in Eastern Oregon today. There can be problems at school or in a professional career, but it isn't as taboo as it once was and we feel secure enough that we can at least name these things in our own home. 

I am also teaching my two children, ages four and five, about our beliefs. Yesterday, my mother hung Yule lights in the living room. My five-year-old daughter, who is attending the heavily Christian-influenced local Kindergarten, was delighted.

"Christmas is like Yule, isn't it?" she asked me as we walked the quarter mile down the mountain to the bus this morning.

"That's right," I said. "We call it Yule or Solstice and Christians call it Christmas."

"But they have Santa Claus too," she said.

"That's true," I agreed. "But I don't think they know that Santa Claus is a sun spirit."

"The sun gives us presents," my daughter said, hugging herself happily.

That's my take on Santa Claus in a nutshell. I've heard the debate – to Santa or not to Santa. It rages among Pagans, Christians and devotees of secular Christmas. The rhetoric may vary but the core of the problem is really the same. I understand the desire to deemphasize the materialistic side of the holiday. I also get how uncomfortable parents are with telling children an elaborate "lie" about a man in a red suit.

On the other hand, I know that one of the precious gifts of childhood is the sense of magic and wonder that makes Santa Claus possible.

On another day my daughter asked, "Is Santa Claus real?"

I answered, "Santa Claus isn't real like rocks and sticks are real. But Santa Claus is real in spirit. Santa Claus is real like the spirit of our favorite tree is real or like the protection of Thor. Santa Claus is a symbol of how the Sun gives us the gifts of life, food and warmth."

My five-year-old doesn't seem to have a problem with this sort of physical real versus spirit real dichotomy. That's good because I want both worlds. I want to be able to raise my children with science and with spirituality. I want my children to develop an "attitude of gratitude" because life is a lot happier that way.

I wanted to write about this because I have seen and heard a lot of anxiety expressed among Pagans about whether to or how to introduce Santa Claus to their children. The good news is that everyone gets to make their own choices these days. You won't be alone if you choose not to include Santa in your midwinter holiday. But if you want to include him and his deep Pagan roots in your celebration, here is one way of doing it.
At our house, we celebrate Yule beginning on the eve of the Solstice. We have a candlelight dinner focused on round things in the colors of the sun and the night sky (i.e. shepherd's pie with turmeric in the mashed potatoes on top and huckleberry desert with star-shaped cookies). The next morning we get up before dawn to greet the sun outside with a thermos of hot chocolate, cookies and drums.

We attempt to mark the twelve days of Yule. The second day carries the theme of harvest, bounty and possessions, so that is when we have Santa Claus.

In the evening on Dec. 21, the children leave an offering of cookies that they made in front of the hearth. We talk about the sun and all the gifts of the old year, how a new year is beginning but Santa Claus still has some gifts of the old year for children. I guide the children in saying a blessing and thanks for all the gifts of the past year.

In the morning, the children wake up to a gift or possibly two under the Yule tree. The cookies are gone. They were enjoyed with nice cups of tea by the breadwinners of the household after the children went to bed. Some were also left outside as an offering.

The fifth day of Yule falls on the night of the 24th to the day of the 25th of December and that day is dedicated to family. As a result, it is natural for us to exchange gifts between family members and visit extended family during this time. It's fine that some of our family does Christmas.

The only real problem we run into is the fact that we don't always have the 21st and the 22nd off of work or school. We try to engineer that as a quiet family time whenever we can and we aren't too orthodox to play with the dates if absolutely necessary.

We often spend our winters in the Czech Republic. While that is not the most Christian country in the world, it does have a little issue for us to deal with. In the Czech Republic, Santa Claus is not actually a very popular figure. Ironically, most secular children have "the Little Baby Jesus" bring their presents. For 70 percent of the country there is no religious connotation to this at all. It is simply tradition and my children are as used to hearing about "the Little Baby Jesus" from their friends as they are to hearing about Santa Claus from their American cousins.

As I said before, one of my reasons for keeping the tradition of Santa Claus alive in my family was that as a child, I really enjoyed having something of our celebrations that I could share with friends outside our small Pagan community. It made me feel both solid in my unique identity and included in the larger culture. So, for awhile, I pondered what to do about the constant references to "the Little Baby Jesus" in secular Czech society.

At last, I settled on a handy solution thanks to a book called Smokey and the Feast of Mabon, which is a wonderful children's book about the Sabbat of Mabon. In the story there is a depiction of the old year as an old man with a flowing white beard. And the symbol of the new year is an infant, lying asleep in a cradle, because the old year has not yet woken up at Mabon. While that book discusses the magical New Year at Samhain, I realized that the same principal could be applied to the solar New Year.

As a result, we have spiced up our Yule celebrations in the past few years with the addition of the Little Baby Sun of the new year. We view Santa Claus as a popular representation of the spirit of the old year's sun. We build a goddess figure out of clay and paint it in the colors of the night sky - with the symbolism of "the womb of the night." This we use as a table centerpiece in the weeks leading up to Yule.

Then, when the moment of the Solstice comes, I secretly slip in a sun-colored baby that I have fashioned to go along with the goddess figure and place it in the goddess's arms when no one is looking. This has been a magical tradition so far and has cleared up what little confusion my children had over references to the Little Baby Jesus bringing presents in the Czech Republic and the constant drumbeat of heavily religious Christian influence when we are visiting my family in Oregon around Yuletide. 

This is an adaptation of ancient ideas, not a literal transmission of some ancient Pagan tradition. But Santa Claus has clear Pagan roots. There were pre-Christian legends about a similar figure in many parts of Europe. You may also note that Santa Claus carries the three "colors of the Goddess" – red, white and black. And that Santa Claus is said to come through the hearth and fire. All of these things make a natural correlation to the idea of Santa Claus as a spiritual symbol of the sun and the gifts of life and prosperity.

Last night, my four-year-old son turned to my mother, who had cooked the family dinner, and said, "Thank you for our food." It wasn't just unprompted. It was out of the blue. I have never actually taught my children to thank the cook, as that is usually me. I have simply taught them to be mindful of the gifts of the earth and the sun. Our Yule traditions are part of this "attitude of gratitude" and that is why I finally have started to believe in Santa Claus.

See more of Arie Farnam's writings at 

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Arie Farnam is a Pagan blogger and fiction writer. She lives most of the year in the Czech Republic with her husband and two children, where she concocts medicines from herbs and dreams up fantasy adventures for children and adults.

Thursday, October 9

Samhain Blessings: Owain Phyfe

Mama Stacey, back when she was a brand new mommy, held a very small sleeping Doodle Bug in her lap.  We were snuggled together underneath my long black cloak as it was a chilly, drizzly evening and I had retreated to the large pavilion that is Caffeina's Cafe at Wisteria (a pagan-friendly campground in southern Ohio).  It was perhaps 2004 and we were at the Pagan Spirit Gathering for Litha, as we always were back in those days, back when it was just me and my son, exploring the world in a mini-van. 

We sat bundled on a chair near the empty corner stage, enjoying the twinkle-lights strung up in the rafters.  I was sipping something warm when the drizzle suddenly decided to take itself seriously and drown the campground.  It was very late and I almost packed it in, when a huddled mass of people began to flood the cafe.  The crowd parted and a man with a neat beard and wet cloak crunched the gravel as he made his way to the stage, strange little guitar in hand.

How could I know, in that moment, that I would love that guitar for the rest of my life?

Faithful followers helped this man to set a large mug of wine on a stool beside himself and to settle on the stage.  The chair that Doodle Bug and I sat in became surrounded by people.  We couldn't move, he was sleeping, and I hadn't finished my drink... so I sat there as this man began to play.

Selena Fox, matriarch of the famous Pagan organization Circle Sanctuary, sat at the table beside me, cheeks rosy from whatever was in her tankard.  Owain began to strum his guitar lightly and he spoke.  He told the tale of what it would be like to be an English soldier fighting against the Spanish army and drowning your sorrows in a French tavern.  He shared the words with us and prompted us to repeat them:

"We be, soldiers three.
Pardona moy je vous en pree.
Lately come forth of the low country,
with never a penny of mony."

Owain forgave us for butchering the French lines, but explained that it only lent to the authenticity of the song... for we were but drunken English soldiers, were we not?

As fantastic as Owain and the New World Renaissance Band's albums are, they are missing that one important element that the live performances always held: the stories.  Owain shared tales from around the world and tidbits of jokes and cultural innuendo before each song.  He brought the music into perspective and made you feel it even deeper in your soul.

Doodle Bug and I would frequently make trips to Medieval festivals and Renaissance faires where Owain was performing, driving up to 6 hours round trip just to hear him play 15 minute sets while sitting on a tree stump or playing on a stage no bigger than my dining room table.

When I wanted to purchase some music, Owain and his beautiful wife, The Lady Paula, walked me through each album. We bought 'Where Beauty Moves and Wit Delights' because, upon seeing young Doodle Bug, Owain explained that the song Fuggi, Fuggi, Fuggi (if you've heard Owain live,  you may know it as the Fa La La La La La song) had been recognized as beneficial for children's brain development.  Owain was humbled by the song's inclusion on a lullaby CD that was sent home with newborn babies. 

I have bought many more of Owain & TNWRB's albums since then, however 'Where Beauty Moves and Wit Delights' will always be my favorite.  It houses the first song I ever heard Owain play, it has the Fuggi song, and Mama Stacey's all time favorite: 'Since First I Saw Your Face'

Owain and Lady Paula, became bright beacons of light wherever we went.  Doodle Bug and I would smile from afar, knowing how popular Owain was and never wanting to be a bother.  We began to recognize the various hats Owain wore, and always... the guitar.  That beautiful instrument that I now know is called a chitarra battente (an Italian pre-guitar).

I will never forget walking down Merchant's Row early one morning at a festival, many years after that first night, and seeing him sitting at his campsite wearing nothing but boots and a medieval cap.  He was eating olives and offered up a sleepy smile.  We both nodded and I continued my journey.

During the summer of 2012, a message appeared on Owain's Facebook page, stating that he needed to cancel a musical performance because he was feeling a bit under the weather.  On various message boards within the community, we heard that it might be a mysterious stomach thing.  Love outpoured and we all wished him well.

It was not a "stomach thing".  When it was announced that Owain was fighting cancer, people across the nation sent him money.  As a traveling performer, his health insurance situation was not the best.  At the time, I had $3 to spare and sent it.  This man was a very important part of my life, whether he knew it or not.

On August 7th, 2012, Owain posted his thanks on Facebook.

29 days later... Owain left this world.  And we cried.  The Oakland Press

Tribute CDs and webpages were created.  Many are still available through various organizations.

The stage at the Greater St. Louis Renaissance Festival dedicated their stage to his memory.

Half Clef stage at the Florida Renaissance Festival.

Owain is the bottom right in red.

Michigan Renaissance Festival.

Owain is central with guitar.

The 2013 Donegal Dogs album.

Sandart at the Texas Renaissance Festival.

Ohio Renaissance Festival.

Guinness Pub in Michigan.

In the House of Mama Stacey, my first Owain CD adorns the Samhain altar, because I will forever miss him.  Baby E will grow up listening to his voice, the same as Doodle Bug has.  I like to imagine that Owain is enjoying a cigar and an unending glass of wine.  I pray that he is able to send blessings to his family as the veil grows thin. 

"And my eyes, like some fountain, the tears over flow."

Monday, September 22

Mabon in Pictures

We are finally getting settled after returning from our weekend in the woods for the Equinox.  We baked and sipped warm cider around the fire.  We ate dark chocolate and made autumn head garlands.  We talked about our gardens and our pets.  We took walks and drank apple wine.  It was a glorious weekend.

To begin, we settled into the cabin with our bedding and various supplies.  Baby E was jealous that Daddy and Brother got to go into the top bunks, so Papa J took her up and let her see what it was all about.  She much preferred it on the ground with Mommy.  Mommy likes to take a shower in the clean spring water and soak in the sunlight and fresh air.  It brings the vibrancy back to her soul.

We added our various altars and decorations.  The cabin needs witch-ified before our guests arrive.


Then, we started the balefire and began to unwind outside.  Some played cards, some roasted marshmallows, some read in the shade of the hemlocks. 

After a cozy night's rest, we prepare for a day of celebration.  We chill the wine, stack the firewood, bake the casseroles, and set the ritual space.  We spritz-dyed shirts and wove head garlands.

Our ritual was very off-the-cuff this year.  I had a basic idea of how things should work, but everything I seemed to type up felt unsuited to the energy of the day.  In the end, we sort of made it up as we went along.  It was still beautiful.

We were in the woods for four days and yet it was a blur of laughter, friendship, and love.  Next year will be our 10th anniversary and we are already spinning ideas to make it the biggest, best year yet.

And special thanks goes to our open-minded friend, Tonya, who took time out of her hectic schedule to photograph our ritual.  Mwah!